You can’t support or strengthen someone else without knowing how to do that for yourself first.
Life can be fun and meaningful, but also kind of draining. Between work, studying, bills, or any other stressors you may have, our emotional batteries can drain faster than an iPhone 6. I would know, because at the time of this writing, I still have an iPhone 6. It’s kind of a love/hate relationship. Anyway.
It can be hard to keep our emotional batteries charged, where we feel relaxed, self-aware, and open. And when those batteries aren’t charged, especially on a regular basis, you may find yourself growing irritable, emotionally empty, and maybe even kind of feeling sorry for yourself. Or maybe you’re the type to try to distract yourself from your stress by being reckless or overworking, which leads to a giant spiral of exhaustion.
Whatever your style, having a drained emotional battery makes it hard to completely show up in dating and relationships. Sometimes, it’s tempting to forget about our own problems and try to just be there for our loved ones. On the opposite end, you may also have a tendency to assume your partner will make all your problems better, so you don’t fully take responsibility in improving your situation. But both of these scenarios are invitations for some unhealthy, codependent habits. And we don’t want that.
Of course, lovers must still be giving in relationships. I mean, if we’re all just completely self-sufficient and self-reliant, the magic of relationships kind of disappears. Help each other, and help to support and strengthen each other. But here’s the key: you can’t support or strengthen someone else without knowing how to do that for yourself first. Self-care is such a buzzword these days but with good reason. You can’t truly be successful in any of your roles or relationships if you don’t have your own back. It’s kind of like the oxygen masks on planes. During flight safety demonstrations, cabin attendants always advise you to put on your own mask before helping a fellow passenger with theirs. How can you help someone else if you have no idea how to help yourself? How can you help another breathe if you’re gasping for air?
So what does charging your emotional battery actually look like? I have a checklist of 5 things you must have before committing to a relationship. Each thing is like a power bank for your emotional battery. And even if you’re already in a relationship, it’s never too late to up your self-care game.