Have you ever been told you’re too sensitive or overly emotional? Generally, our society places great emphasis on being emotionally strong, sometimes even to the point of not feeling anything at all. Sensitivity tends to be discouraged, and yet, there isn’t anything inherently “wrong” with sensitivity.
If you’ve ever been told that you need to feel less and just suck it up more, I want you to know this: sensitivity isn’t bad. And not only that, but sensitivity can be a huge asset both personally and in your relationships.
Knowing how to use your own emotional responses to your advantage is a skill worth learning just like other relationship or self-improvement skills. And not only that, but sensitivity isn’t actually a weakness. It’s a strength.
Sensitivity = Compassion
Compassion and empathy are important qualities to have in interpersonal relationships. And being able to understand others’ feelings and experiences requires some degree of sensitivity. You don’t need to be a mind reader, but having an understanding of the emotions a person may be experiencing and being sensitive to the signs that someone may be feeling a certain way can be an incredibly useful relationship skill. However, if you tend to shy away from sensitivity and your own emotions, you may subconsciously disconnect or withdraw when someone else is struggling. In this way, then, embracing your own sensitivity can allow you to support and comfort others at times, too.
Sensitivity = Self-Awareness
When you allow yourself to feel a variety of emotions, you also learn about yourself. While society may tell you to dial down your feelings and passions, refusing to do so shows you what you really need and want – both in relationships and in life in general.
Here’s an example: let’s say that someone made comments criticizing your appearance. It’s understandable that these comments may be hurtful, and they may make you feel a bit sensitive. This is okay – your response to those comments isn’t wrong, and in fact, your response can guide you to learn more about yourself. You may realize that you simply don’t want to spend time with people who make such comments. You may decide that a boundary needs to be set when such critical comments are made. And you may even realize that these kinds of comments are so triggering because you have your own negative thoughts and feelings about your appearance (which you may wish to work on separately, either individually or with a coach or therapist). By validating your own sensitivities and emotions, you have an opportunity to learn more about yourself.
Sensitivity = Action
Finally, knowing what triggers you most can help drive you to take positive actions. Being sensitive shows what you care about in the world and what your values are. Maybe you feel extremely upset when you see a child getting bullied, or maybe the thought of climate change is really distressing for you. Rather than simply sitting in these uncomfortable emotions, your sensitivity can drive you to make the right decisions based on your values. You could choose to donate, volunteer, sign petitions, or simply take different actions in your day-to-day life. Don’t try to ignore your passions or feelings because you think you’re being too sensitive. Lean into them and take more positive actions because of them.
3 Tips for Sensitive People
Sensitivity can be a skill and strength, but allowing yourself to feel your feels may still be hard at times. Here are three tips to help you embrace your sensitive side more:
- Don’t judge your own sensitivity. When you find that you’re judging yourself for being sensitive or emotional, rewrite those thoughts, and remind yourself that it’s okay to be sensitive.
- Don’t focus on controlling your emotions, but do focus on controlling your reactions. Let your emotions be, but take your time before taking action based on them. Allow yourself time to cool down and stabilize before responding.
- Think empathetically. Sensitivity offers the gift of empathy, so use it! But don’t only show empathy for others – practice self-compassion too. Think of your own needs, and allow yourself time to rest and relax. After all, sensitive types tend to get burned out very quickly.